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About Me Deviant Member orcaleeFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Statistics 43 Deviations 265 Comments 6,037 Pageviews

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I normally don't write journal entries on DA as I am more-or-less a nobody to my (small-ish number of) watchers here. But here goes...

A bit of intro: I am a research scientist in the field of neural development, my area of interest is how growing nerve cell processes ('axons') find their way to connect to their correct target areas. It is a cool topic of intense interest (I mean who wouldn't want to figure out how the brain is wired, or how to make a spinal cord injury patient stand again?)---but like everything worthy, with intense interest comes intense competition. Competition for everything basically: getting results published in scientific journals before your competitors, getting research grants, and for us lowly postdocs, getting lab-head positions so that you can set up your own shop. It has never been easy and is becoming increasingly less so, like all things with limited resources. I am sure this is not unique to the bioscience workfield, with the ecomony in the shitter in so many places, job security has become something of a myth. The point is, no matter which field you work in, to stay afloat has become quite the struggle.

Anyway back on topic...what do I mean by 'the issue of guilt' in the title? Well, as we're on DA here, drawing is at least a semi-serious hobby to most of us, and surely we all put effort into improving skill and getting an idea drawn.  I've been looking at my submissions---most if not all were done in 2007 or 2008. These were dark times during grad school for me, and by 2008 I started giving a lot less of a fuck---hence the ample amounts of free time dedicated to drawing. Since 2008 a lot of things had happened and now I do give a lot of fucks about my work. And suddenly I don't 'have time' to draw. But seriously, why did drawing take such a backseat? I certainly had tons of time to goof off on the internet.

It is not an issue of time management, it is an issue of guilt.

Drawing takes quite an effort. Working takes quite an effort. We have limited amounts of effort to dispense. To stay afloat at work, it's best to put forth our energy to work stuff, no? If I'm going to spend effort, if this block of time is not allocated to mindless relaxation like surfing the internet or playing video games, then it'd better be spent on something that counts, like work. So then there's this intense guilt for drawing instead of reading papers or analysing data, and then I end up surfing the internet all night.

I sort of see the same thing here with several young DA artists who took the professional artist road. Once they enter art school, their submissions are pretty much replaced with school work instead of fun fan art or crazy OCs. Don't get me wrong, the quality of their art of course skyrockets once they're in art school----but something just makes me a bit sad: it seems like once in art school they get so swamped with work that they don't draw for fun anymore! It might be the same guilt thing that I'm going through.

Just a lament, just a mini-rant. What does the economy/job security/competiton have anything to do with this? Probably not that much. But in this economy, in this day and age of competition, I'd better be honing work skills and polishing my CV instead of doodling, huh. And this doesn't help with the guilt whenever I think of drawing something. I wonder if anyone has a good way to overcome this.

deviantID

~orcalee
United Kingdom
Current Residence: UK, Cambridge
Favourite cartoon character: Seta Soujiro, Count D
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:iconkyasarin131:
~Kyasarin131 Aug 9, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the favourite on Mirror, Mirror!! :meow:

--
I believe in Jesus Christ, my Saviour. If you do too and aren't scared to admit it, then copy and paste this in your signature

Aw, such cute little demented muffins! In fact, they’re so cute, I’ll put hats on them!
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:iconorcalee:
You are very welcome, it is a brilliant picture, I loved it.
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:iconkyasarin131:
~Kyasarin131 Aug 10, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank yooou!! >w<

--
I believe in Jesus Christ, my Saviour. If you do too and aren't scared to admit it, then copy and paste this in your signature

Aw, such cute little demented muffins! In fact, they’re so cute, I’ll put hats on them!
Reply
:iconpolishedivory:
Thanks for the fav :)

--
Nana korobi ya oki.--
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
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:iconmissmentalkarma:
You have been featured in my journal here [link] =)
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:iconcollaredren:
~collaredren Sep 27, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
[link]

funny vid enjoy

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Sorry, I think my nerd is showing.
Secretly supports a Reaper invasion if it means I can molest a turian as a dying wish.
"You guys suck! You never let me get out my hentia rape monsters!"- Wrath
I'd have a trillion views too if I showed my tits.
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:iconvacio-oscuro:
You're so talented. I'm trying to get into watercolour and it's proving to be very frustrating, but I'm trying. And I'm also new to using a stylus and tablet. So that's been interesting as well... lol

I'm getting some inspiration from your work... so thank-you :-)
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:iconorcalee:
Awww, thank you so much for your comment! Watercolor is indeed quite difficult, and apart from that, I've felt a lot of frustration turning a somewhat nice lineart into something fully colored (and presentable on DA), either with watercolor or digital coloring!

Thanks for liking my drawings~ Your gallery is very cool, too!
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:iconsilenced-echo:
Mood: Adoration =silenced-echo Apr 25, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
birds ! birds ! BIIIIIIRDS ! *chirp* I love birds~

--
"You have blue at your fingertips.

You take the ocean on wide-ruled notebooks where you draw round letters that stain..."


Jean-Michel Maulpoix, translated by Dawn M. Cornelio - A Matter of Blue
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